228 thoughts on “Can you share your favourite joke with us.

  1. Mia Powell

    my jokes by Mia Powell

    1) why did the banana cross the road
    because he want peeling very well

    2) why did the sheep cross the road
    to go to the baaba shop

    3) knock knock
    whos there
    bed who
    bed who cant catch me

    4) where should a big alien go
    on a diet

    5) what did one toilet say to the other
    you look a bit flushed

    6) why did the picture go to jail
    because it was framed

    7) what did one wall say to the other wall
    i”ll meet you round the corner

    8) what did the paper say to the pencil
    write on!

    9) what do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to

    10) why do bicycles fall over
    because there two-tired

    11) what did Cinderella say when her photos did not come
    someday my prints will come.

    those are my joke i hope you will laugh.

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    • Derry Steane
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      1. aliciaalicia

        once upon a time a little boy called Fred asked the teacher if he could go to the toilet. The teacher’s reply was no she said finish your alphabet first. The boy said i learnt the then he said a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z. Then she said where’s the p. Fred said its running down

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  2. Sarah Aziz


    what is the biggest ant in the world?
    an eleph-ant

    what is even bigger than that?
    a gi-ant

    what does an octupus were in winter?
    a coat of arms

    what bird is always out of breath?
    a puffin

    how do you make skunk stop smelling?
    pinch it’s nose closed

    where is the best place to park a dog?
    in the barking lot

    what animal needs oil?
    a mouse because it squeks

    why cant the cheetah play football?
    because he always cheats

    what jam cant be eaton on toast?
    a traffic jam

    why are chefs hard to like?
    because they, beat the eggs, whip the cream and mash the potatoes

    which bean do kids like best?

    what did the beach say as the tide came in?
    long time, no sea

    why does peter pan always fly?
    because he can neverland

    what did one angel say to the other angel?

    Thank you for reading my jokes

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    • Alicia Taylor
  3. Alyssa Turner

    What do you say when you loose a wii game?
    I want a wii-match

    How do you make an octopus laugh?
    With ten-tickles

    What starts with p ends with an e and has a million letters in it?
    A post office

    What did the traffic light say to the car?
    Dont look im changing

    Why did the boy with one hand cross the road?
    To get to the second hand shop

    Why did the robber take a bath?
    Because he wanted to make a clean getaway

    Why was 6 afraid of 7?
    Because 7, 8, 9

    What do you call cheese thats not yours?
    Nacho cheese

    Wich flower talks most?
    Tulips of course because they have two lips

    Knock knock
    Whos there?
    Cows go
    Cows go who?
    No silly cows go moo

    Knock knock
    Whos there?
    A titch
    A titch who?
    Bless you

    Knock knock
    Whos there?
    Tank who?
    Your welcome

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    • Sascha Cameron
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  4. Waran Duku

    If the black man lives in the black house, the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the yellow man lives in the yellow house.Who lives in the white house? OBAMA!

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  5. Adriano Merra

    My friend thinks he’s so smart he told me an onion is the only food that can make you cry so I threw a coconut at his face!!!! who’s smarter now

  6. Derry SteaneDerry Steane

    A man and a giraffe go into a pub. Man goes up to bar and asked for 2 pints of beer. The giraffe gets drink and falls over. The bartender says you can’t leave it lying there. The man replied it’s not a lion it’s a giraffe.

  7. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid
    *Nobody stands up*
    Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID!
    *Little Johnny stands up*
    Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid?
    Little Johnny: No Mrs, I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing up

  8. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    Teacher: Who answers my next question, can go home.
    One boy throws his bag out the window.
    Teacher: Who just threw that?
    Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

  9. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    Teacher: ‘jhonny, you know you can’t sleep in my class.’
    jhonny: ‘I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.’

  10. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
    Teacher: Of course not
    Pupil: Good, because I didn’t do my homework

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  11. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    *Teacher: You copied from Fred’s exam paper didn’t you ?
    Pupil: How did you know ?
    Teacher: Fred’s paper says “I don’t know” and you have put “Me, neither”!

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  12. Banita Sehra

    What do you get when you cross a honey pot with winnie the pooh?
    A empty hunny pot?

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    • Momen HajalHussein
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  13. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today.
    School Secretary: Who is this?
    Pupil: This is my father speaking!

  14. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    Teacher: Why can’t you ever answer any of my questions?
    Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn’t be much point in me being here!

  15. Kaliyah

    What does a monster mummy say to her kids at lunch?

    Don’t talk with someone in your mouth

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    • Sascha Cameron
  16. Alicia TaylorAlicia Taylor

    A man arrived to small town on Friday. He stayed there for two days and left on Friday…
    Hows that possible… because his horse is called friday

  17. Alyssa Turner

    Why did the picture go to jail?
    Because it was framed

    What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
    A towel

    Why do bicycles fall over?
    Because they are two-tired

    What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
    Someday my prints will show up

    Why was the broom late?
    It over swept

    Why couldnt the pirate play cards?
    Because it was sitting on the deck

    What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
    I think im coming down with something

    Why did the man run round his bed?
    To catch up on his sleep

    What kind of car does mickey mouses wife drive?
    A minnie van

  18. Kaliyah

    A little girl wet herself in class and the teacher asked her why didn’t she put her hand up.
    “I did, miss, but it ran through my fingers’.

  19. Sascha CameronSascha Cameron

    why did the toilet paper role down the hill ? because it has to get to the bottom

    why do you call cheese that isn’t yours ? nacho cheese

    whats orange and sounds like a parrot ? a carrot .

    i slept like a log ? but i woke up by a fire

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    • Sascha Cameron
  20. Viona

    4 Of Viona’s LOL Jokes

    1) Knock Knock 2) Knock Knock 3) Why are there fences around
    Who’s there Who’s there cemeteries? Because people are
    Romeo Hatch dying to get in.
    Romeo who Hatch Who
    Romeover the river please Bless You

    4) Five dogs are called un, deux, trois, quarte, cinq they all had a swimming race every dog made it except cinq because it sank down the water.

  21. Sascha CameronSascha Cameron


    Knock Knock
    Who’s there?
    Anna who?
    Anna going to tell you!
    knock knock
    Bed who?
    Bed you can’t guess who I am!

  22. Alicia TaylorAlicia Taylor

    Q: What kind of birthday cake does Elsa like?
    A: The kind with lots of frosting / icing.

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    • Alicia Taylor
  23. Alicia TaylorAlicia Taylor

    Why couldn’t Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
    Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

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    • Alicia Taylor
  24. Alicia TaylorAlicia Taylor

    Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
    A: Take the words out of his mouth!

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    • Alicia Taylor
  25. Alicia TaylorAlicia Taylor

    Q: Why does a dog wag its tail?
    A: Because there’s no one else to wag it for him.

    Users who have LIKED this post:

    • Alicia Taylor
  26. Alicia TaylorAlicia Taylor

    Q: What has four legs and goes “Oom, Oom”?
    A: A cow walking backwards!

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    • Alicia Taylor
  27. Alicia TaylorAlicia Taylor

    A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the SECOND half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.

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    • Alicia Taylor
  28. Alicia TaylorAlicia Taylor

    Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
    A: None, because they were copycats!

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    • Alicia Taylor
  29. Alicia TaylorAlicia Taylor

    Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
    A: Nothing, peanuts don’t talk.

    Users who have LIKED this post:

    • Alicia Taylor
  30. Alicia TaylorAlicia Taylor

    Q. How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a CAR?
    A. Put him in the front seat.

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    • Alicia Taylor
  31. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

  32. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    “Dad, I don’t want to go to school today.” said the boy. “Why not, son?” “Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.” “But why don’t you want to go today?” “Because our English teacher died yesterday!”

  33. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!” Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?” Boy: “No.” Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.” Boy: “And do you know who I am?” Girl: “No,” Boy: “Thank goodness!”

  34. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I’d climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion’s?

  35. Momen HajalHusseinMomen HajalHussein

    Teacher: “I killed a person, tell me this sentence in future tense.” Student: “In future tense, You will go to jail.”

  36. CJ Benoiton

    There is something wrong with the Helicopter.
    There is a pilot, president and a boy.
    And there are only two parachutes!
    The president says I,m the most important so I shall take the first
    Then the pilot said ” you have along life ahead of you kid, you
    should have the next one”
    But the kid said don’t worry he only took by back pack!


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